This Friday night, Riff Raff, aka Jody Highroller, aka the Peach Panther, aka Iceberg Simpson, aka the Versace Python, aka the Turquoise Tortoise, aka the Flamboyant Flamingo will descend upon Minglewood Hall. Born Horst Simco, Riff Raff first entered the American consciousness when he appeared on the second season of the MTV show From G’s to Gents, complete with a giant MTV logo freshly tattooed on his neck. Though Riff Raff was eliminated from the show during the second episode, the damage was already done, and his brand was born.
After mixing it up with Soulja Boy’s label S.O.D. Money Gang, Riff Raff collaborated with big name artists like Action Bronson and Diplo before signing a multi-record deal with Diplo’s label Mad Decent. Most recently, Riff Raff announced a partnership with the BMG label, a deal worth $4 million. The deal will launch his new label Neon Nation Corporation and put him and his longtime manager Russell Redeaux at the forefront of an empire investing in music, movies, and talent from across the globe.
Simply put, Riff Raff is a walking billboard for MTV spring-break culture, but while he’s collaborated with plenty of flash-in-the-pan MCs (Kitty Pryde, Deezus), his staying power is something to behold. After all, it’s certainly no easy feat for a white guy with cornrows to stay relevant with rhymes that were undoubtedly conceived on a steady diet of Xanax and prescription cough syrup. If America is ever put under a microscope by an alien life form, rest assured Riff Raff will break the petri dish. In celebration of Riff Raff coming to Minglewood Hall for the first time, I’ve selected a few of his more poetic lyrics for further evaluation.
Lyrics: “When I got grown and dropped out of school, nobody was broke but me, but now they all wanna roll with me.” Song: “Time”
Ah, the perils of fame. You’d think the Peach Panther would welcome a posse of like-minded individuals, but apparently even Riff Raff can tell when people are out to abuse his wealth. This lyrical revelation comes from the 2014 song “Time,” one of the only R&B songs that Riff has created and a track that would surely make someone like Uncle Kracker proud.
Lyrics: “I done fucked around and sang a hook like Anita Baker.”
Song: “Tip Toe Wing in My Jawdinz”
Let’s get one thing straight. At no point in his career will Riff Raff sound anything like Anita Baker. Ever. That being said, the intro to “Tip Toe Wing in My Jawdinz” is one of Riff’s most recognizable choruses and kicks off a pretty amazing song where he talks about his collection of Jordan brand shoes and how he used to drive a Ford Focus but still rocked Jordans. Who can’t relate to that?
Lyrics: “I’m at a slumber party. Girls only got you mad, but you can sleep outside. Here’s my Versace sleeping bag.”
Song: “Tip Toe Wing in My Jawdinz”
Here we get a glimpse into what a generous soul Riff Raff really is. He knows the girls are only interested in what the Cranberry Vampire has to offer, but he’s still willing to give up his designer sleeping bag just so you don’t sleep out in the cold. After all, he could have just kicked you out of his party. Generous with his designer goods whilst also being a sex symbol? What a guy.
Lyrics: “I’m catchin’ interceptions on you innocent pedestrians.”
Song: “How to be the Man”
This is one of Riff Raff’s strongest lines on his debut album Neon Icon and touches on his propensity to use sports references in almost every one of his songs. Throughout his musical career, Riff Raff has claimed (either on social media or in song) that he could have played for the Los Angeles Lakers, the San Diego Chargers, the Oakland Raiders, the Toronto Raptors, and the Los Angeles Clippers. With all that talent possessed by one man, I suppose we’re all lucky he decided to stick to the rap game, although I think getting him in the NBA celebrity game during All-Star Weekend is a no-brainer at this point.
Lyrics: “Rap game Tony Danza with the hot handles. No tint on the glasses, Colonel Sanders.”
Song: “Doctor Pepper”
Although it would be impossible to scour the annals of YouTube to be 100 percent certain, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that Tony Danza and Colonel Sanders have never been mentioned in the same song, let alone the same line. Does Tony Danza even have hot handles? How can we ever know? And why has Colonel Sanders never worn sunglasses? These are the questions Riff Raff’s genius lyrics bring to mind, among many, many other things. Mind=blown.
Lyrics: “I can freestyle to a dolphin and a tambourine.”
Song: “Aquaberry Dolphin”
Wait, what?
