Harry & Dave at the Blue Monkey. The Distraxshuns at Elvis Presley’s Memphis. Someone else somewhere, I’m sure, but now I have to go. As always, I really don’t care what you do this week, because I don’t even know you, and unless you can see to it that, once again, everyone leaves Winona Ryder alone — the story is that she just stepped outside with her things to smoke a cigarette, a perfectly legitimate thing to do — then I’m sure I don’t want to meet you. Besides, it’s time for me to blow this joint and go find out if they’ve put any ashtrays in the new workout facility next door to my office yet.
—T.S.
