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We Recommend We Recommend

Dead Can Dance

Now that Tim Burton, the cinematic master of all things macabre, has brought Stephen Sondheim’s gore-soaked musical Sweeney Todd to the screen, perhaps he should turn his attention to classical dance. He’d be hard-pressed to find subject matter more suited to his dark, comic-book romanticism than Giselle, which the St. Petersburg Ballet Theatre is bringing to the Germantown Performing Arts Centre on Sunday, January 6th.

By the end of Act 1, the ballet’s title character, a poor seamstress cut to the quick by a wealthy, duplicitous lover, already has gone mad and committed suicide. Giselle returns as a lovesick ghost in Act 2, however, to save her bad-boy boyfriend from a bunch of female vampires who were betrayed by their lovers in life and have chosen to spend eternity in a frenzy of bloody revenge.

Violent death? Supernatural evil? Transcendent love reaching out from beyond the grave? Who could ask for anything more?

If your curiosity has been pricked by any of this, GPAC, in conjunction with the St. Petersburg Ballet Theatre, is offering a free class on the history and meaning of Giselle on Thursday, January 3rd.

“Giselle,” 3 p.m., Sunday, January 6th, at the Germantown Performing Arts Centre. $30-$50. The “Giselle” Dance Education Class is 7-9 p.m., Thursday, January 3rd, at GPAC. The class is free.

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We Recommend We Recommend

A Sketchy Past

While most of Irene Miller Rodkin’s art is unsigned, chances are, if you lived in Memphis in the 1970s and much of the ’80s, you know her work well. That’s when Rodkin was the main staff fashion artist for the Goldsmith’s in-house advertising department. Back then, Goldsmith’s used illustrations, rather than photographs, to show off their goods in advertisements, and Rodkin would, on average, create an illustration a day for that purpose. A collection of her illustrations, along with portraits and other work, will be on display in the exhibit “When Ads Were Art” at the Memphis Botanic Garden.

“Buyers within the store would be responsible for choosing the things they wanted featured in the ad,” Rodkin says. “They would bring [the clothes] up to my office, and I would first sketch them on hangers, and then I would put them on figures.” The figures were copied from tearsheets from other newspapers collected by the layout department and chosen to best highlight the clothes. “I liked high fashion the best,” Rodkin says. “A large volume of ads were sale ads, where they’d feature a really good sale price, and the illustrations would be of dresses or house garments or lingerie. They would be kind of generic. But once in a while, I would get really nice fashion ads.”

The illustrations featured in the exhibit are originals given to Rodkin over the years by the production department. “The production person would return some of the originals to me because they would store them, and they wouldn’t always have room,” she says. “Some things they thought were too nice to pitch.”

“When Ads Were Art” at the Memphis Botanic Garden from January 5th-31st. The opening reception is Sunday, January 6th,
from 2 to 4 p.m.

Categories
Food & Wine Food & Drink

2007: A Lot To Swallow

Wording Their Eats: Nationally, LA Weekly writer Jonathan Gold’s 2007 Pulitzer Prize in the criticism category — the first Pulitzer ever presented to food writing — was a great accomplishment. Not so great was Colby Buzzell’s Esquire article about the tamale trail, which presented a disappointingly stereotypical view of the South.

Locally, Commercial Appeal food critic Leslie Kelly departed the Bluff City in early 2007 and now freelances for The Seattle Post-Intelligencer. During her three-year stint at the CA, Kelly’s enthusiastic, stranger-in-a-strange-land approach drew her share of both loyal followers and angry detractors. And steadily building a following of its own is local-foods quarterly Edible Memphis and the local chapter of the Slow Food Movement, both spearheaded by newcomers Melissa and Kjeld Petersen.

Waffles: When Interim opened in early 2007, owner Fred Carl Jr. intended for the restaurant to be a short-term replacement for the restaurant Wally Joe. Interim, under the direction of chef Jackson Kramer, did well, and Carl decided to stick with it. More recently, Carl, who is the founder and CEO of Viking Range Corporation, has partnered with Amerigo’s former owners Bill Latham and Al Roberts. No change in concept or food is expected for Interim, but the group plans to develop other restaurant concepts in the Memphis and Mississippi areas.

La Tourelle was another Memphis eatery that couldn’t quite decide what it was going to be for 2007 — opened or closed, a French restaurant with white tablecloths, or a laid-back Italian bistro. In August, La Tourelle, after 30 years in business, changed flags to become Tuscany. But then, just a few months later, owners Glenn and Martha Hays sold the restaurant to Kelly English, who will be opening Restaurant Iris early in the new year.

While Marena’s Gerani was long-rumored to be for sale, owner Mortez Gerani declared back in June that the restaurant would remain open. A month later, Marena’s was sold to Kevin Rains, former executive chef at Equestria. Rains opened Roustica and has kept much of the Midtown restaurant’s charm intact. Meanwhile, Gerani has opened a new restaurant, Marciano Mediterranean and Italian Cuisine in East Memphis.

Opening Acts: After much anticipation, Judd Grisanti opened his Italian restaurant Spindini in the South Main Historic Arts District in early 2007. Grisanti’s approach is not just old-school, it’s the oldest-school: cooking with fire. In his case, the fire is smoldering in a $30,000 custom-built, wood-burning oven that is the focal point of every seat in the house.

John Bragg, who had relatively brief stints at La Montagne and River Oaks, opened Circa by John Bragg last spring, vowing to “provide a culinary taste adventure centered on the freshest food ingredients and a very interesting, welcoming, and sociable atmosphere.” The restaurant is a current downtown hot spot.

Also, Memphis got a little sweeter this year with the openings of Sweet, the Exquisite Desserterie in Cooper-Young and Blues City Pastry in the former Viking space downtown.

The Westin Hotel, also downtown, opened with Penny McGraw as its executive banquet chef and the Daily Grill, a California-based eaterie, as the hotel’s restaurant.

The opening of the River Inn of Harbor Town added two new restaurants to the downtown dining scene: Currents, a fine-dining restaurant, and Tug’s, the inn’s more casual alternative. In charge of both is executive chef Brian Flanders.

And there’s more: Pearl’s Oyster House opened in the South Main arts district; Karen Carrier re-invented Cielo by turning it into the Mollie Fontaine Lounge; and Ken Lumpkin, a Jose Gutierrez protégé, opened Umai, a small French/Japanese restaurant on Madison where On Teur used to be located.

RIP: Memphis bid farewell to Romulus Morgan Hammond Jr. — the “Buster” of Buster’s Liquors and Wines. Hammond, who died September 8th at the age of 97, was the face of Buster’s for more than 50 years.

Among the restaurant closings in 2007 were Meditrina, Lulu Grille, Café Francisco, and Garland’s.

Also departed from much of the Memphis restaurant scene: smoking. The Comprehensive Workplace Smoking Act became a reality on October 1st.

Categories
Music Record Reviews

In the Mix

Twelves months, thousands of records, five critics. Here’s what our 2007 sounded like:

Chris Herrington:

1. Super Taranta! — Gogol Bordello (Side One Dummy): Hedonistic utopian Eugene Hutz opens Super Taranta! on a leap of faith: “There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It’s a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow,” the Gogol Bordello frontman spits on “Ultimate,” kicking our collective sense of dread square in the teeth. From there Hutz and his Brooklyn-based “gypsy punk” ensemble embark on an epic journey to re-imagine rock-and-roll via a crosscurrent of Eastern European melodies riding on violin and accordion riffs and to reposition America as the pluralistic, multicultural society it is. How appropriate in this election year that the best rock band in America is a group of immigrants who mock assimilation and taunt our (or anyone else’s) patriotism. How glorious it is that they do so with raucous wit, rootsy party music, and such a magnanimous spirit.
2. Kala

M.I.A. (XL): Sri Lankan-born world citizen M.I.A. mashes up Western pop (Modern Lovers, Pixies, Duran Duran) with Third World rhythms on this follow-up to her ecstatic debut Arular. Where the earlier record was an intensely pleasurable, beatwise brass-ring grab, Kala is a more rattled, woozy sonic miasma. Fantasizing about a Third World stick-up of First World wealth as she demands (or does she?) that soulja boys the world over toss away their guns; losing her mind in the midst of putting “people on the map who never seen a map”; falling in love on a Darfur tour, rapping joyfully with Aborigine kids: No album this year took in more of the world or did so with such a playful, disorienting rush of ideas.

3. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — Miranda Lambert (Columbia): A big fan of Miranda Lambert’s 2005 debut, I was initially underwhelmed by its follow-up because the songwriting seemed more formulaic, less personal — a common second-album pitfall. But repeated listens revealed what a formal triumph Crazy Ex-Girlfriend‘s early, spitfire singles are and, more crucially, how much better, more seemingly modest stuff is hidden later. The clinchers are late-album sureshots “Guilty in Here” and “More Like Her” — both piercingly ambivalent about the emotional downside of walking on the wild side.

4. New Wave — Against Me! (Warner): On their major-label debut, this Florida punk band sells out the way Nirvana and Sonic Youth did: with music that’s bigger, bolder, and better than what they made before. This is strident political rock that turns stridency into a good joke (“White People For Peace” — har, har). The band articulates its dissatisfaction, which is achievement enough (indie rock: take note), but never lets righteous, reasonable anger crowd out the empathy, humor, and fierce self-doubt that make their shout-along anthems special.

5. The Real Thing: Words and Music, Vol. 3 — Jill Scott (Hidden Beach): Jill Scott is the reigning poet laureate of neo-soul, a strong, precise lyricist in a genre without many. At its very best, The Real Thing is a sex album simultaneously as clinically carnal as Dirty Mind-era Prince and as warm and mature as Sign ‘O the Times-era Prince. Praising her lover for doing her “as if this year’s harvest depended on it,” Scott’s career peak is funny, weird, and erotic all at once. And she purrs, scats, sighs, and shouts the hell out of it.

6. Neon Bible — Arcade Fire (Merge): I never quite connected with the drama on Arcade Fire’s beloved in some quarters 2004 debut, Funeral, but on Neon Bible this Canadian band of ex-pat Americans take their previously private agonies and anxieties public by naming what they fear: “holy war,” inherited debt, salesmen at the door, a rising tide that could drown us all. Musically, this sweeping, mournful lament is more stirring than engaging, in a manner that I’ve rejected in bigger bands such as U2 or Radiohead. But this music is more intimate, more ragged, more organic. I think the range of voices — male and female — helps considerably. I’ve also decided that, rather than an indie-rock U2, they’re more a middle-class Mekons. Clincher: “The Well and the Lighthouse,” a subtle parable about cultural (read: indie-rock) isolation in which the band chooses the lighthouse and the responsibility that comes with it.

7. Sound of Silver — LCD Soundsystem (DFA/Capitol): The snarky glee of James Murphy’s great early LCD Soundsystem singles (“Beat Connection,” “Losing My Edge”) here blooms into dance-rock as melancholy and beautiful as the best of New Order. No album in 2007 peaked higher than Sound of Silver does with the middle-section trifecta of “North American Scum,” “Someone Great,” and “All My Friends,” the last a song-of-the-year frontrunner that feels universal even as it evokes a club/rave culture I know little of.

8. Alright, Still … — Lily Allen (Capitol): This 2006 British debut got an official stateside release back in January, introducing a grounded, sassy songwriter whose persona is around-the-way-girl (London edition) and who takes a cheerfully dyspeptic tone while negotiating a life plagued by bad credit and worse boyfriends.

9. Turn Out the Lights — The Ponys (Matador): The most purely pleasurable guitar-rock album I heard this year: The dense, echoey sound-over-sense world these Chicago garage-rock grads create on Turn Out the Lights is one of clipped, shivery guitar interplay dancing woozily over a rhythm section that takes Motown on a farewell tour of CBGBs.

10. More Fish and The Big Doe Rehab — Ghostface Killah (Def Jam): The late-2006 leftovers collection More Fish and the late-2007 proper album The Big Doe Rehab fall well short of this Wu-Tang master’s ’06 hip-hop insta-classic, Fishscale. But, in a bad year for hip-hop, nobody made more crucial music than can be found on these combined efforts — deep-soul ghetto and/or crime stories (not the same thing) that are vulgar, funny, and vivid, with an underlying moral gravity.

Honorable Mentions: The Voice of Lightness — Tabu Ley Rochereau (Stern’s Africa); Icky Thump — The White Stripes (Warner); Under the Blacklight — Rilo Kiley (Warner); Graduation — Kanye West (Roc-a-Fella); The Hair, the TV, the Baby, and the Band — Imperial Teen (Merge); La Radiolina — Manu Chao (Nacional/Because); Back to Black — Amy Winehouse (Universal/Republic); Let’s Stay Friends — Les Savy Fav (Frenchkiss); Sirens of the Ditch — Jason Isbell (New West); It’s a Bit Complicated — Art Brut (Downtown).

Singles: “All My Friends” — LCD Soundsystem; “Umbrella” — Rihanna featuring Jay-Z; “Beautiful Girls” — Sean Kingston; “The Good Life” — Kanye West featuring T-Pain; “Valerie” — Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse; “Rehab” — Amy Winehouse; “What a Job” — Devin the Dude featuring Snoop Dogg and Andre 3000; “Ticks” — Brad Paisley; “Lip Gloss” — Lil Mama; “Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin’)” — T-Pain featuring Yung Joc.

Stephen Deusner:

1. Boxer — The National (Beggars): The blog-rock album of the year, which doesn’t ensure it’s the album of the year. In this case, however, Boxer‘s dark tales of white-collar anonymity, delivered in Matt Berninger’s skewed imagery and resonant baritone, make it immensely relevant as well as endlessly rewarding.

2. The Stage Names — Okkervil River (Jagjaguwar): Roughing up their sound, Okkervil River from Austin continue to prove themselves the darkest portrayers of band life. The moment that closer “John Allyn Smith Sails” turns into a sinister cover of “Sloop John B” is the year’s best plot twist.

3. Ears Will Pop and Eyes Will Blink — Bodies of Water (Thousand Eyes): These four Christian indie kids come across like a ’60s L.A. hippie cult and make music that imagines the Arcade Fire starring in Jesus Christ Superstar, but their curiosity about the nature of God is not an end in itself. Instead, faith is a springboard for the most musically and lyrically ambitious debut of the year.

4. Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? — Of Montreal (Polyvinyl): Kevin Barnes recorded one half of Hissing Fauna in Norway, where his wife was giving birth to their daughter, and the other half in Athens, Georgia, where the rest of his problems lived. Setting his songs in the real world — a first for him — didn’t diminish the playfulness of the band’s music but only ratcheted up the urgency of his Prince-meets-Beatles hooks.

5. Night Falls Over Kortedala — Jens Lekman (Secretly Canadian): The Swedish crooner Jens Lekman finally lives up to the promise of his exceptional early EPs with an album that is both hilarious and devastating.

Honorable mentions: Kala — M.I.A. (XL); Sound of Silver — LCD Soundsystem (DFA/Capitol); Mirrored — Battles (Warp); For Emma, Forever Ago — Bon Iver (self-released); Let’s Stay Friends — Les Savy Fav (Frenchkiss).

Andrew Earles:

1. Turn Out the Lights — The Ponys (Matador): The different elements that made previous albums from this Chicago band occasionally great made this album consistently great. Much to their original audience’s chagrin but to my liking, the early garage-rock roots have been totally shed in favor of a consistently catchy hybrid of early Dinosaur Jr., Rough Trade post-punk circa 1980, Disintegration-era Cure, and the Television influence the Ponys have always held close to the chest. They’re also really nice, unpretentious folks, exemplified when they recently played Memphis with …And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead. They were the band that didn’t spend pre-performance time holed up in an unnecessarily huge tour bus.

2. Saw a Halo — Mouthus (Load): Often incorrectly classified as a noise band, this Brooklyn duo operates far outside the boundaries of that style. The album-opening “Your Far Church” might be the most haunting song I’ve heard in years, putting to shame compositions by Joanna Newsom, Devendra Banhardt, or any flag-bearer of the awfully named “freak folk” genre.

3. Beyond the Permafrost — Skeletonwitch (Prosthetic/Red): It’s easy for me to get behind a band like Skeletonwitch, which effortlessly cherry-picks the best aspects from 30 years of real metal, starting with Thin Lizzy and going all the way to contemporary black-metal moves. Mastodon sort of managed this trick as well, but the likelihood is slim that the Atlanta band will put out another great album, and this will do just nicely for now.

4. The Flying Nun 25th Anniversary Box Set — Various Artists (Flying Nun): At last, what may be the final word in indie-rock history lessons and all of it courtesy of a country the size of California. Over most of the 1980s and into the early ’90s, New Zealand’s Flying Nun label diligently released the world’s best underground art-pop music in the form of the Chills, the Clean, the Bats, the Verlaines, Straightjacket Fits, the Tall Dwarfs, and many, many others. If you regard the Arcade Fire as groundbreaking, prepare to get floored.

5. The Brit Box — Various Artists (Rhino): Less a history lesson than a highly entertaining collection for the car, The Brit Box provides a thorough introduction to Britain’s ’80s and ’90s contribution to indie and alternative rock forms, covering indie pop, its noisier shoe-gazing cousin, and the eventual worldwide takeover propagated by Brit Pop.

Werner Trieschmann:

1. Under the Blacklight — Rilo Kiley (Warner Bros.): That most fans of this brainy former indie band revolted against this glorious, glittery, and audacious album is probably the best argument for it. But there are others. Such as: Lead singer Jenny Lewis has the best voice in rock. Or that “Dreamworld,” the lone instance where Lewis isn’t on lead, is the greatest Fleetwood Mac song since “Hold On.” Or that this album springs not from the head but from the hips, where all great rock comes from.

2. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — Miranda Lambert (Columbia): It opens with a shotgun blast at an abusive male and ends with “Easy From Now On,” an unsettled hope for domestic bliss. In between, Miranda Lambert goes twangy and traditional (“Dry Town”) and modern-rock edgy (“Gettin’ Ready”). Every song hits a different pleasure center, with maybe the ballads (“More Like Her” and “Guilty in Here”) being the most surprising for being so naked and raw.

3. Because of the Times — Kings of Leon (RCA): The third album for this band of three brothers and a cousin benefits from ambition and discipline. The songs are longer than on the Kings’ first two albums, and the hooks that were in short supply before are plentiful here. Opening with the mesmerizing seven-minute “Knocked Up,” Because of the Times never lets up from there.

4. Release It to the Sky — Jim Mize (Fat Possum): Jim Mize works as an insurance adjuster out of Conway, Arkansas, which might in part explain why this Fat Possum release was, for all intents and purposes, dumped on the market. Writing his own blues-tinged songs and belting them out with the force of a hurricane, Mize will probably remind you of vintage Bruce Springsteen. Certainly this album has the reach of the Boss at his best.

5. White Chalk — PJ Harvey (Island): The power of PJ Harvey’s bleak and odd little album isn’t apparent on first or even fifth listen. Since she sings in a high warble accompanied by her own rudimentary piano playing (she learned the instrument for this record and it shows), there are many who’ll find White Chalk maddening — not to mention depressing. But it is all of a piece and it is haunting.

Honorable Mentions: Spring Awakening soundtrack — Duncan Sheik and Steven Sater (Drifter’s Church); Traffic and Weather — Fountains of Wayne (Virgin); 5th Gear — Brad Paisley (Arista); A Place To Land — Little Big Town (Equity); Neon Bible —Arcade Fire (Merge).

David Dunlap Jr.:

1. Wagonmaster — Porter Wagoner (Anti-): It wasn’t just the last recording made by a country legend. It also marked the end of an era in country music. I had the pleasure of seeing Porter Wagoner perform this past May at the Grand Ole Opry, and his incredible performance was exemplary of his entire career — a goofy, cornpone persona that often betrayed a deeper, disturbed melancholia. There was a slightly uncomfortable moment when Wagoner forgot Opry announcer Eddie Stubbs’ name, but then he quickly righted himself and tore into a couple of infidelity classics.

2. Comicopera — Robert Wyatt (Domino): Full disclosure: I had a stake in Robert Wyatt’s Comicopera being a great record. A month prior to its release, I had named my second-born after him. When you gamble with the repercussions of naming your child after a Communist paralytic prog-rocker who sings like a porpoise, you can only hope that the honoree’s subsequent output will dispel any feelings of regret by virtue of its genius. Thankfully, Comicopera is, like the man behind it, warm, cynical, and brilliant. 

3. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — Miranda Lambert (Columbia): Nashville Star may not be a better program than American Idol, but it has definitely yielded the most legitimate music star of either program. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is undeniably a product of the new Nashville, but Miranda Lambert’s powerful delivery and insightful lyrics are evidence that there’s a real live human beneath the layers of Music Row gloss. “Gunpowder and Lead” easily bests the Dixie Chicks’ “Goodbye Earl” as a country music domestic-abuse revenge fantasy.

4. The Western Lands — Gravenhurst (Warp): This Bristol-based outfit has, on its third full-length, perfected a distinctly British hybrid sound that blends pastoral folk with shoe-gazer rock. Band leader Nick Talbot moved to Bristol because the blissful haze of Flying Saucer Attack inspired him, and his band is carrying on FSA’s shimmering sonic legacy. 

5. Double Up — R. Kelly (Jive): Without getting into the apocalyptic maelstrom of nonsense that perpetually follows in Kel’s wake, Double Up probably entertained me more than any other release this year. You could write a thesis on the harrowing relationship complexities of “Real Talk,” and yet the song is hilarious enough to warrant a spot on Dr. Demento’s playlist. 

Honorable Mentions: 5th Gear — Brad Paisley (Arista Nashville); Person Pitch — Panda Bear (Paw Tracks); Werewolves and Lollipops — Patton Oswalt (Sub Pop); Ire Works — Dillinger Escape Plan (Relapse); The Art of Field Recording (Dust-to-Digital). 

Categories
Sports Sports Feature

Griz Lose Big to Hornets; Fans Boo Gasol

(AP) – Chris Paul had 40 points and nine assists, and the New Orleans Hornets used a third-quarter spurt to beat the Memphis Grizzlies 116-98 on Wednesday night.

Paul shot 17-of-25 from the field, including 5-of-8 from 3-point range, as the Hornets won their third straight. It marked the second-highest point total in Paul’s career. Only his 43 points against the Grizzlies on Dec. 7 was better.

Peja Stojakovic finished with 21 points and David West added 20 for the Hornets, who shot 56 percent.

Rudy Gay and Mike Miller led Memphis with 19 points apiece, while Kyle Lowry finished with 15 on 6-of-8 from the field. Lowry also had eight assists.

Pau Gasol, the Grizzlies’ second-leading scorer, finished with eight points, ending a streak of 81 games in double figures. That was the third-highest in the league behind Carmelo Anthony and Ray Allen .

Paul helped the Hornets run the lead to as many as 18 in the third quarter, scoring 16 points and handing out four assists in the period.

The Hornets eventually extended the lead to 20 points in the fourth.

Gasol, who seemed to settle for outside shots most of the night rather than challenge Tyson Chandler, was booed on several occasions when he didn’t take the ball to the basket. Chandler finished with 13 rebounds and 12 points, while Gasol managed only six shots.

New Orleans led 52-50 at the break behind 15 points from Paul and 12 by West. Miller scored 15 in the tight half, when both teams shot 50 percent.

Paul helped the Hornets break away in the third period, scoring nine points and assisting on two more baskets before the midway point of the quarter, keying an early 15-5 run. Stojakovic added 10 points to help New Orleans carry a 86-73 lead into the final period.

Notes: Grizzlies G Mike Conley returned to full contact practice Tuesday night, meaning his return from injury is much closer. The rookie from Ohio State has been out of action since injuring his right shoulder against Dallas on Nov. 17. “You wouldn’t have thought he had a shoulder surgery,” Memphis coach Marc Iavaroni said before Wednesday’s game. “Moving around well. He was quick. He needs to get in better shape, but that will come with play.” Iavaroni wouldn’t give a specific time on the first-round pick’s return. … New Orleans won the two previous games in this year’s series with Memphis in overtime. … West was whistled for a technical late in the first half by Steve Javie after West argued a no-call. Then Iavaroni got called for a tech midway through the third period for arguing with official Marc Davis. The weirdest tech of the night, though, came with just under 3 minutes left when substitution confusion by the Hornets left New Orleans with only four players on the court.

Categories
Special Sections

Al Green Sings … A L’il Christmas Gift from the Memphis Flyer

Turn it up. Christmas carols don’t get any better than this one. Merry Christmas from all of us here in Flyer-land!

Categories
News

Timely Tips For Dealing With Bands For The Holidays

The following comes to us via the Rev. Billy C. Wirtz, who plays Beale Street on occasion.

BAND CLAIRVOYANCE: When requesting a song from the band, just say “play my
song!” We have chips implanted in our heads with an unlimited database of
the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar and all* songs
ever recorded, so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge. If we say we
really don’t remember that tune you want, we’re only kidding. Bands do know
every* song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be… it
helps jog the memory, or just keep repeating your request over and over
again if a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they
either forgot that they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try
singing a few words for the band. Any words will do.

It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per
set, followed by the phrases, “AW COME ON!” and, “YOU SUCK!” Exaggerated hand
gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as well,
such as the thumbs down or your middle finger. Put-downs are the best way to
jog a band’s memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of “Personal
Friend Of The Band.” You can bet your request will be the next song we play.

Entertainers are notorious fakers and jokesters and never really prepare for
their shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they
will do once they arrive. We don’t actually make set lists or rehearse
songs. We mostly just wait for you to yell something out, then fake it. An
entertainer’s job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don’t let them
off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters.

Once you’ve figured out what genre of music the band plays, please make your
requests from a totally different genre. The more exaggerated the better. If
its a blues band playing, yell for some Metallica or Slayer or Pantera.
Likewise, if its a death-speed metal band, be sure to request Brown-eyed
Girl or some Grateful Dead. Musicians need to constantly broaden their
musical horizons, and its your job to see that it happens….immediately.

TALKING WITH THE BAND: The best time to discuss anything with the band in
any meaningful way is at the middle of a song when all band members are
singing at the same time. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out
your tiny voice from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. And
we can converse with you in sign language while singing the song, so don’t worry that we’re in the middle of the chorus.

Musicians are expert lip readers too. If a musician does not reply to your
question or comment during a tune, it’s because they didn’t get a good look
at your mouth in order to read your lips. Simply continue to scream your
request and be sure to overemphasize the words with your lips. This helps immensely. Don’t be fooled. Singers have the innate ability to answer questions and sing at the same time. If the singer doesn’t answer your questions immediately, regardless of how stupid the question may seem, it’s
because they are purposely ignoring you. If this happens, immediately cop an
attitude. We love this.

IMPORTANT: When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or
her head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their
head securely so they cannot pull away. This will be taken as an invitation
to a friendly and playful game of tug of war between their head and your
hands. Don’t give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits.
Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit in the
back, protected by the guitar players. Keyboard players are protected by
their instrument, and only play the game when tricked into coming out from
behind their keyboards. Though difficult to get them to play, it’s not
impossible, so keep trying. They’re especially vulnerable during the break
between songs.

HELPING THE BAND: If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band
will appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you can
remain standing on stage. If you’re too drunk to stand unassisted, simply
lean on one of the band members or the most expensive piece of equipment you
see. Just pretend you’re in a Karaoke bar. Simply feel free to walk up on
stage and join in. By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound,
and the louder you should sing.
If by chance you fall off the stage, be sure to crawl back up and attempt to
sing harmony. Keep in mind that nothing assists the band more than
outrageous dancing, fifth and sixth part harmonies, or a tambourine played
out of tempo. Try the cowbell; they love the challenge. The band always
needs the help and will take this as a compliment.

Finally, the microphone
and PA system are merely props, they don’t really amplify your voice, so
when you grab the mic out of the singers hand be sure to scream into it at
the top of your lungs, otherwise no one will hear what a great singer you
are. Hearing is over-rated anyhow, and the crowd and the sound guy will love
you for it.

BONUS TIP: As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on stage and start playing their instruments. They love this. Even if you
are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact that you have
successfully completed your audition. The band will call you immediately the
following day to offer you a position.

See you at the next gig!

Categories
News

Nominees for Blues Music Awards Announced

The nominees for the 29th annual Blues Music Awards, presented by the Memphis-based Blues Foundation, are out, with Bobby Rush, Watermelon Slim, and Bettye LaVette leading the way. All three are nominated for the B.B. King Entertainer of the Year award, as well as album of the year for LaVette’s The Scene of the Crime and Watermelon Slim & the Workers’ The Wheel Man and acoustic album of the year for Rush’s Raw. Additionally, Rush is up for acoustic artist of the year and soul-blues male artist of the year; LaVette is up for contemporary-blues female artist of the year; and Slim is up for band of the year, contemporary blues album of the year, contemporary-blues male artist of the year, and song of the year for “The Wheel Man.”

More Flyer music coverage.

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From My Seat Sports

FROM MY SEAT: 2007 Top 10 (Part 2)

5)
Memphis 1, Sacramento 0 (July 26) — A one-hitter and a game-winning hit with two
outs in the bottom of the ninth. In terms of fan engagement — you know, the
crowd at AutoZone Park actually paying attention to the action on the field, as
opposed to nurturing cellphone relationships — this was the highlight of the
2007 Redbirds season. Starting pitcher Chris Narveson pitched five and
two-thirds hitless innings against the first-place Sacramento River Cats, and
was relieved more than capably by Matt Ginter and Troy Cate. With two outs in
the ninth, Memphis drew three consecutive walks before Nick Stavinoha ripped a
hit into the rightfield corner for a walk-off victory. For a night, at least,
the standings didn’t matter.

4) Jazz
104, Grizzlies 88 (February 28) — In the closest parallel to Jack and Joe Buck
my family is likely to realize, 7-year-old Sofia Murtaugh was part of a media
contingent during a pregame press conference on Kids’ Night at FedExForum. Her
question for Grizzlies coach Tony Barone: “Which NBA player is the toughest to
defend?” (Barone’s answer: Kobe Bryant and Dirk Nowitzki.) Suited up in a mini-Grizz
outfit for the pregame introductions and a dunk contest following the third
quarter, young Murtaugh saw the home team jump out to a 20-4 lead, only to
witness the Northwest Division-leading Jazz chip away and end the Grizzlies’
two-game home winning streak. Pau Gasol’s 28 points and 13 rebounds weren’t
enough to offset Utah’s Carlos Boozer (24 points and 16 boards) and Deron
Williams (14 points, 10 assists). The loss kept Memphis tied with Boston in the
Greg Oden Sweepstakes, with an NBA-worst 15 victories on the season. Ms.
Murtaugh was tucked snuggly in bed by the time Barone opened his postgame
session.

3)
Memphis 25, UAB 9 (November 17) — In terms of probability — or lack thereof —
this was the Game of the Year. The Tiger football team had been handled by the
likes of Arkansas State, Middle Tennessee, UCF, and East Carolina (giving up 56
points to each of the latter two). They had lost a member of the team — reserve
defensive lineman Taylor Bradford — in an on-campus murder not even two months
earlier. They had not beaten the Blazers since 1999, and that was with DeAngelo
Williams carrying the ball four of those years. Yet there in the end zone at
game’s end, hoisting the bronzed rack of ribs that has come to symbolize the
“Battle for the Bones,” was Tiger backup quarterback Will Hudgens. With Joseph
Doss rushing for 168 yards, Duke Calhoun catching four passes for another 159,
and Martin Hankins passing for 298 yards, the U of M earned bowl eligibility for
the fourth time in five seasons. With a win over SMU the following week, Memphis
finished with a conference record of 6-2, its best in 12 years of C-USA play.

2)
Memphis 71, Houston 59 (March 10) — For the second straight year, John
Calipari’s Tigers finished off a sweep of Conference USA’s regular season and
tournament championships with a win at FedExForum. (And for the second straight
year, the victory gave the Tigers 30 wins for the season, on their way to a 33-4
finish.) The Tigers essentially had the Cougars beaten by halftime, up by 11
with a capacity crowd roaring for the national-television audience. Chris
Douglas-Roberts scored 17 points on his way to earning tourney MVP honors.
Fellow sophomore Antonio Anderson matched CDR’s point total and dished out five
assists. This marked the fifth time in Tiger basketball history that Memphis won
both conference titles in the same year.

1)
Dallas 35, St. Louis 7 (September 30) — In the fine tradition of Dean Moriarty
and Sal Paradise, a friend and I packed up the horseless carriage and headed
west, our destination Texas Stadium. Lifelong Cowboy fans, Johnny G and I
counted the RV dealerships and cotton fields over our 450-mile journey, all for
a chance to cast our shadows under that famous hole in the roof where Someone
Else is rumored to keep watch over His favorite football team. We saw the
Cowboys rack up 502 yards (their most in a non-overtime game since 1998) and
improve to 4-0 for the first time in more than a decade. Tom Landry statue
aside, the highlight was seeing Dallas quarterback Tony Romo retrieve a
shotgun-snap over his head, turn upfield, and dodge at least three Ram tacklers
to gain a first down. How ’bout them Cowboys, indeed.

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Sports Sports Feature

Tigers-Georgetown Wrapup …

If University of Memphis fans felt hung over after their football team’s loss Friday night in the New Orleans Bowl, they didn’t sound like it Saturday morning as the second-ranked men’s basketball Tigers overwhelmed the number 5 Georgetown Hoyas in FedExForum with a little help from the sixth man.

The first top-5 college basketball match-up in the city’s history excited and delighted the announced crowd of 18,864.

Georgetown players appeared unfazed by the huge, loud crowd early on. Hoyas senior forward Patrick Ewing Jr., was seen bopping his head along to the beat of the catchy U of M fight song as the Mighty Sound of the South thundered through a chorus during pre-game warm-ups.

Tigers head coach John Calipari enjoyed a laugh and a handshake with Georgetown coach John Thompson III. In game action, each team’s style of play reflected their coach’s sideline demeanor. The frenetic Calipari stomped, paced, and hollered at his squad from the Memphis bench, while Thompson gestured for his side to take it slow and remain calm.

The patient Hoyas picked the Tiger defense apart for first half leads as large as 8 points.

A specter of a Hoya upset seemed imminent at the 12:08 mark of the first half, when Tigers forward Joey Dorsey hit the bench with two quick personal fouls. While Dorsey smacked his gum on the sidelines, though, the Tigers stormed even with the Hoyas, and then pulled ahead 43-40 by halftime with a late flurry forwards Chris Douglass-Roberts and Robert Dozier.

The second half belonged to the Tigers as Douglas-Roberts put them ahead 54-46 with a breakaway slam-dunk at the 12:16 mark. Tiger athleticism kept the Hoyas at arm’s length the rest of the way. Dorsey pulled down 11 second-half rebounds and scored 9 points, including a follow-up slam of an air ball at the shot clock buzzer with about 10 minutes to go.

The crowd poured it on the Hoyas throughout. The visitors appeared increasingly rattled as the volume and points escalated.

Calipari unleashed the Tigers full court press, and the Hoyas might have thought someone kicked a beehive with defenders flying across the floor and buzzing around the ball. Georgetown’s All-American center Roy Hibbert finished with a mere six points as the Tigers swarmed and double-teamed the big man, forcing him into poor shots and awkward passes.

Conversely, Calipari’s killer D’s, Derrick Rose, Dorsey, Douglas-Roberts, and Dozier all scored in double figures. The final score of 85-71 reflected more than a homecourt advantage. Thompson admitted after the game that, “you have to look at them as one of the best, if not the best team in the country…because they can hurt you in so many ways.”

At least for today, the Tigers are the toast of college basketball.

–Preston Lauterbach