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Film Features Film/TV

Violent Night

Santa Claus, that personification of Christmas beloved of children everywhere, comes with his own group of accessories and symbols: the red cap and coat, white beard, round spectacles, flying sleigh pulled by magic reindeer, and Skullcrusher, his hammer.

Not familiar with Skullcrusher? That’s because you haven’t seen Violent Night yet. Skullcrusher isn’t likely to join the Santa pantheon alongside his bag of toys for good little girls and boys, but, in the right hands, it is capable of meting out more punishment for the naughty than a simple lump of coal.

Those hands belong to David Harbour, most recognizable as Stranger Things’ Sheriff Jim Hopper, the reluctant stepdad of human weapon Eleven. He also whipped his dad bod into shape to play the Red Guardian in Black Widow, so playing an ass-kicking Santa is in his wheelhouse. When we first see him as the Bearded One, he’s knocking back beers at an English pub, commiserating with the other Santa tribute artists about the kids these days. Santa’s over the greed that has taken over his season, but he’s kept going only out of duty to the kids on the nice list. When he leaves through the roof access, it dawns on the staff that he’s the real thing.

Meanwhile, little Trudy Lightstone (Leah Brady) is on her way to Christmas at grandma’s house. It’s the first time her estranged parents Jason (Alex Hassell) and Linda (Alexis Louder) have been together in a while. The situation is even more fraught because the wealthy Lightstone family is more toxic than Presidents Island. Grandma Gertrude (Beverly D’Angelo) is a predatory capitalist with a foul mouth and no time for sentiment. Alva (Edi Patterson) can’t hold her liquor as well as her mother, and her boyfriend Morgan Steele (Cam Gigandet) is only there to try to convince Gertrude to fund his movie idea.

When Santa slips into this expensive snake pit, he is distracted from his gift delivery duties by expensive sherry and a massage chair. He is awakened by gunfire. A criminal mastermind who goes by the name of Scrooge (John Leguizamo) has arrived to steal all the well-stuffed stockings hung from the chimney with care, not knowing that crunk Santa was already there.

Director Tommy Wirkola has made action hay out of fairy tales in the past, with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, and a two-fisted Santa Claus is not that far-fetched: The real St. Nicholas was a fourth-century Christian bishop famous for punching out the heretic Arius during the Council of Nicaea. In Harbour, Wirkola has found a twisted kind of muse. Together, they riff on that classic holiday film Die Hard, with Santa crawling through the air ducts instead of John McClane. As Harbour mugs his way through some half-assed, John Wick-style fight choreography, he imbues burnt-out Saint Nick with his signature gruff charm. It’s a real movie star performance, and without it, the whole film would collapse into nonsense.

Conan O’Brien said that the key to great comedy is mixing smart and stupid in just the right ratio. Violent Night’s gross-out slapstick juxtaposed against the trappings of Christmas (Scrooge’s henchmen are named Sugarplum and Gingerbread) achieves a kind of action comedy alchemy. It’s not a holiday classic like Die Hard, but it is a decent temporary remedy for the mandatory holiday cheer.

Violent Night
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Categories
News The Fly-By

MEMernet: Taco Burn, Lookin’ Like Christmas, and It’s a Sign!

Memphis on the internet.

Taco Burn

The word is out that TacoNGanas owner Greg Diaz is under federal investigation for alleged sketchy labor practices (h/t to The Commercial Appeal’s Daniel Connolly). Some here are barely hiding suspicions and, perhaps, contempt.

“Say it ain’t so, Greg!” wrote Larry Livingston on Nextdoor last week. “My go-to food truck is being investigated by the U.S. government. However, last Thursday’s usual order actually sucked? Coincidence or just your underpaid workers don’t care anymore?”

Beginning to Look …

Posted to Nextdoor by Jack Yates

… a lot like Christmas! An East Buntyn neighbor knew last week his holiday decorations may be “too early for some” but invited those in the spirit to drive by his house on Ellsworth for “some holiday cheer.”

It’s A Sign

Posted to Instagram by unapologeticallymemphis

The Union Krystal misspelled the restaurant chain’s misspelling of “chick” as “chic” instead of “chik,” and Unapologetically Memphis unapologetically busted them out for it on Instagram.

Categories
Letter From The Editor Opinion

Little Joys

A friend of mine shared an event on Facebook last Friday — for Christmas at Silo Square, which would be bringing Santa to Southaven. “I’m sorry, but Santa needs to wait until December to leave the North Pole,” I commented, then added the cry-laugh emoji for good measure. I was half-kidding, of course, although I’m not sure last weekend’s climate was suitable for St. Nick, him being accustomed to the sub-zero temps and mountains of snow in his hometown and all. I reckon he survived though since I didn’t hear anything about an untimely demise.

But I have heard lots of whining about Christmas coming too early. As soon as Halloween was over, folks were hauling their trees and ornaments and colored lights down from their dusty attics, turning their homes into makeshift winter wonderlands. Before the spiderwebs and cauldrons were even carted out of Target, the aisles were dutifully lined with snowflakes and garlands, and Mariah Carey’s infamous tune arose from its seasonal slumber.

Maybe the complainers are half-kidding, too. Because does it really bother them that much that others find delight in decking the halls of their own houses? Or that “All I Want for Christmas Is You” now floats into their ears as they meander through Walgreens? The playlist there isn’t exactly on anyone’s top 10 throughout the rest of the year. Or maybe it is.

Point is that if someone else finds a little joy in hanging stockings in November, let them have it. It’s dark at 5 p.m., winter temperatures hit us like a surprise backhand overnight, it’s gray and gloomy, and everything outside is dying. Not to mention the less-than-stellar economy, higher-than-ever housing costs, political tug-of-war, environmental turmoil, and, you know, the big stuff that can cause tons of stress if we let it. Lawmakers can’t seem to quit meddling with our rights and the freedom to make our own decisions, yet we’re grizzled about Christmas.

I’m not rushing to put up a tree. I probably won’t even bother. Putting all that stuff up means later taking it down, and I’d rather not add more things to my to-do list. But if the holidays give someone out there the warm fuzzies, and curling up with a hot cup of cocoa in their Frosty the Snowman PJs under the glow of string lights brings a little peace, good for them! There is so much division in this world, the matter of holiday decor should be at the bottom of the debate list.

All this to say, maybe it’s not so much about snow globes and wreaths as it is that people need something to fuss about. If it’s not politics, it’s sports or religion or which rich guy is the bigger piece of shit. I don’t make it a practice to let these types of things get to me, or even get in the middle of them too much — at least not out loud. It’s not worth the elevated blood pressure. And I learned at the family Thanksgiving table long ago that not all such conversations end amicably. There’s that whole “If you don’t have anything nice to say” adage that probably fits here. Unless you just enjoy arguing.

I’m not pushing “toxic positivity” either. I’m simply saying that if someone else’s opinion, lifestyle, or personal choices don’t affect you whatsoever — and much of the time, they don’t — let them be. If faith or cheesy Hallmark movies or plastic trees provide comfort for you, go for it. We’ll never all agree on everything, to be sure. But one thing we can agree on is that we’re here now trying to get through life, each with our own struggles, emotions, and daily minutiae.

It’s good to have something to look forward to, even if that something is a lighted tree. Those are the kinds of things that bring little joys. And there’s no sense in fussing over that.

Categories
Film Features Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Have A Merry “Christmas At Midnight” with Robby Grant

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, things were really weird.

Just in time for your Saturnalia celebrations, something new from Memphis’ favorite experimental filmmaker Ben Siler. “Christmas at Midnight” is from Robby Grant’s 2020 album Put A Quarter In The Christmas Vending Machine, and it represents a darker take on the holiday season. Siler, no stranger to darkness himself, rose to the occasion with this music video. Starring expat actress Kim Howard and a host of Memphis talent (including yours truly, who provided sets), this one is for everyone who feels frog marched through Yuletide joviality. Happy holidays, and enjoy the world premiere of “Christmas At Midnight”!

Categories
News News Blog

AAA: Holiday Travel Rises in Tennessee

More Tennesseans are traveling this holiday season than did last year. 

Projections from AAA, the auto club, show more than 2.6 million Tennesseans will travel between December 23rd and January 2nd. The figure is 35 percent higher than last year. But it’s still about 5 percent lower than the record numbers of holiday travelers in 2019.  

Most travelers (2.5 million of them) will drive themselves on Tennessee roads. AAA predicts about 68,000 will travel by air. About 84,500 will travel the state by bus, train, or cruise.

Increased demand has also increased prices. AAA says airfare is up 5 percent from last year. The average lowest round-trip ticket costs $154 this year for most major U.S. destinations. Airfare will rise by 27 percent around New Year’s Eve with average lowest fares around $182. 

Many mid-range hotel rates have increased 36 percent for Christmas travel, with an average nightly rate of $320. For New Year’s Eve, the average nightly rate is $267.

The average car rental rate has increased 20 percent for Christmas travel, with the average lowest daily rate of $130. It will increase 65 percent for New Year’s, for an average lowest daily rate of $103. 

Categories
News News Blog

Porter-Leath Toy Truck to Close Out Season at IKEA

The 20th Annual Toy Truck benefiting Porter-Leath has spent several weekends providing holiday gifts for children, but it still has one stop to make along the way. After several days each at the Poplar Collection Shopping Center and WMC Action News 5 (with a guest appearance by celebrated former Grizzlies player Zach “Z-Bo” Randolph), the Truck will make its final stop this weekend at IKEA to continue collecting toys for more than 2,500 preschool children.

For 20 years, Toy Truck has doled out presents to children up to the age of five who might not receive another gift for Christmas. Children are able to receive age-appropriate gifts that promote early learning, such as dolls, trucks, and building blocks.

“Every year, generous individuals, groups and businesses support the children of Porter-Leath by filling the truck with new toys,” said Rob Hughes, vice president of development at Porter-Leath. “Their
continued support not only helps Porter-Leath preschoolers learn through play, but also makes Christmas a merrier time for their families.”

The final stop, taking place at IKEA, will be on Saturday, December 18th (10 a.m.-3 p.m.), and Sunday, December 19th (11 a.m.-3 p.m.). Those in the giving spirit can drop off new, unwrapped toys at the Truck, as well as cash, check, or credit card donations. Donations can also be made by texting TOY to 50511. Each one will be matched by a Secret Santa in the community.

The Toy Truck benefiting Porter-Leath gathers toys for over 2,500 preschool-age children. (Credit: Porter-Leath)
A fan with former Grizzlies star Zach Randolph (right), who made a special appearance at the Toy Truck benefitting Porter-Leath at WMC Action News 5 on Saturday. (Credit: Porter-Leath)
Categories
Film Features Film/TV

Time Warp Drive-In Gets Into the Holiday Spirit

Well, it’s officially Christmas movie season. If you’re beyond binging the Hallmark channel and have It’s a Wonderful Life committed to memory, Saturday’s Time Warp Drive-In has something for you. It’s the annual Strange Christmas program, and this year does not disappoint.

The first film is a stone-cold classic of horror comedy that has left generations of uptight parents and pearl-clutchers muttering “I’m not so sure this is appropriate …” Gremlins was the brainchild of director Joe Dante and writer Chris Columbus (who would go on to direct the first two Harry Potter movies.) It stars Zach Galligan as Billy, a young man trying to carve out an independent life for himself, who gets a strange gift from his father, an aspiring inventor named Randall, memorably played by country singer Hoyt Axton. It’s a new pet mogwai, unlike anything Billy has seen before. The mogwai in question, named Gizmo, comes with a few rules, which are promptly broken, to catastrophic results.

The character of Santa Claus is an amalgamation between the real life St. Nicholas, a Turkish bishop from the third century CE who is the patron saint of, among other things, thieves and prostitutes, and the Dutch Sinterklaas, along with a generous helping of revisions by American writer Thomas Nast and the Coca-Cola company. But what if he was actually a murderously evil supernatural force that has been barely contained for thousands of years? That’s the premise of Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale.

I’ll have to admit, I had to look this one up. I’d never heard of the 2010 Finnish horror film before, but it looks absolutely bonkers. Grave robbing? Check. Yuletide kidnapping and extortion? Check. Explosions? You better believe there are explosions.

For the third film, something a little more traditional …

Oh, who am I kidding? It’s Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It’s a film that, as they say, does what’s on the tin. When Santa decides to outsource some elf work to the Red Planet, things go awry, and he’s forced to use force against the evil green rulers of Barsoom. How did this thing get made? On the one hand, it’s a transparently ridiculous pitch. Santa doesn’t “conquer” things. He gives gifts to good girls and boys. On the other hand, it’s a great pitch, because bam — instant name recognition, and no copyright issues, at least until the Martians get here and sue you for defamation. Either way, the pitch resonated with someone with too much disposable income, and now we have this timeless non-classic. You might have heard of this 1964 film because it was the basis for a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode. But at the Time Warp Drive-In, it’s presented in all its non-glory, and you’re free to do the riffing yourself.

The Time Warp Drive-In: Strange Christmas starts at 7 p.m. on Saturday, December 4th, at the Malco Summer Drive-In. Three movies for $25 per car, so find someone with a van and pack ’em in.

Categories
News News Blog

Senate Hearing Experts Warn of Holiday Dangers

A Tuesday Senate hearing on holiday toy safety found a massive increase in button battery-related injuries in small children last year and reviewed legislation to reduce them. 

Button batteries are those small, silver, coin-shaped batteries that power a range of small devices like watches, hearing aids, television remotes, garage door openers, and more. From March to September 2020, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission discovered a 93 percent increase in button battery-related injuries in children aged 5-9. The injuries mostly involved ingestion, but some involved children placing a small battery in their nose or ear.

During the seventh-month time period, most children were at home as Covid kept many schools closed. Their parents were likely home, too, and distracted by balancing home life, work, and, maybe, teaching their children. 

“Having kids around products with coin batteries with distracted parts goes a long way to explain the increase,” Dr. Benjamin Hoffman with the American Academy of Pediatrics said during Tuesday’s hearing. 

Having kids around products with coin batteries with distracted parts goes a long way to explain the increase

Dr. Benjamin Hoffman, American Academy of Pediatrics

Hoffman told lawmakers he wanted rules for manufacturers to make it as hard as possible to remove button batteries from devices. He suggested also they add a coat of a bittering agent on removable batteries so children would spit them out if ingested. Though, Hoffman said no hard data exists on the efficacy of doing so. 

To add these protections, lawmakers reviewed Reese’s Law. It would create those standards to make it hard for children to access the batteries in products. It would also create new warning-label requirements to tell of the hazards of ingesting button batteries. 

The proposed law is named for Reese Hamsith. The Texas girl swallowed a button battery at age one and did not live to her next birthday. Reese’s mother, Trista — founder of the child advocacy group Reese’s Purpose — told lawmakers Tuesday of Reese’s ordeal. 

Trista said her daughter swallowed a button battery in October 2020. She then wasn’t “her spunky self” and a doctor diagnosed the girl with croup, her mother said. 

“After returning home we noticed a button battery missing from a device,” she said. “We tore the house apart but couldn’t find it. A quick Google search had us rushing to the emergency room. An x-ray confirmed that she had ingested the battery and doctors performed emergency surgery to remove the battery.”

But the battery created a hole in her esophagus and trachea, allowing food and water into the little girl’s lungs and air into her stomach. The girl died after a surgery to close the hole in December 2020. 

Lawmakers also considered the dangers of a raft of holiday toys, especially counterfeits not made to comply with safety standards, in the hearing called “Hidden Holiday Hazards: Product Safety During the Holiday Season.” Last year, 150,000 toy-related injuries and nine deaths were reported to the federal government, experts said Tuesday. 

Last year, 150,000 toy-related injuries and nine deaths were reported to the federal government.

Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tennessee) told of a Tennessee family that bought a hoverboard as gift online. The hoverboard caught fire and burned the family’s house down. She urged manufacturers, retailers, and government overseers to closely monitor supply chains for poorly made and counterfeit toy products.

“So, these are the things that we watch out for to make certain that the supply chain is going to be safe — and as more consumers are buying from third-party platforms — that they’re going to have the insight into where these products are coming from and why these products might be unsafe,” Blackburn said.

Holiday dangers extend from toys, too, lawmakers were told, to Christmas tree lights, menorahs, and more. From 2016 to 2018, 100 Christmas tree fires and 1,100 candle fires resulted in 30 deaths and 180 injuries, according to federal data. 

Categories
Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Music Video Monday: The Sheiks

Music Video Monday wishes you happy freakin’ holidays!

The operative word is “freak” with The Sheiks. The boffo Bluff City combo usually plays a “Christmas in Space” show about this time every year, but with the damn pandemic messing up the program, they’ve opted for a video greeting card to the rock-deprived masses. It’s called “Everybody’s Merry,” and it goes places you might not have wanted to go — namely, into the void with spaceboy (and director) Jesse James Davis. Hop on Astro-Santa’s lap for the most deranged three and a half minutes of the holiday season—and in 2020, that’s really saying something.

Music Video Monday: The Sheiks

If you’d like to see your music video on Music Video Monday, email cmccoy@memphisflyer.com. Happy holidays, and stay safe everyone! 

Categories
Food & Drink Hungry Memphis

Miracle Brings Christmas Cocktails to The Liquor Store

Ok, sure, it’s still a little early to be busting out the Christmas and holiday events, but we could all use a drink these days. I mean, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet! But something I think we can all get behind in this rollercoaster of a year is more cocktails. And the ones soon to be on tap at retro diner The Liquor Store just so happen to be of the Christmas variety.

Melissa Hom

The ‘Bad Santa’ cocktail’s mulled red wine and Christmas spices will have you feeling both naughty and nice.

Starting on Black Friday, November 27th, the Miracle pop-up bar will be setting up shop at The Liquor Store. Miracle is a New York-based global pop-up concept that “partners with bars and restaurants around the world to offer masterfully crafted Christmas cocktails in cheery holiday-themed settings.” Indeed, diners have been warned to expect over-the-top Christmas themed décor all around the restaurant, with contributions from local Memphis artist Lindsay Julian (founder of She. Builds. Things.)

Miracle’s cocktail offerings will be served alongside the restaurant’s regular menu, and The Liquor Store will have expanded hours to accommodate guests seeking some Christmas Spirit(s). A few specialty drinks include the Fruitcake Flip (brandy, rum, amaretto, fruitcake, cherry bitters, whole egg), Bad Santa (mulled red wine, port, orange liqueur, Christmas spices), and Christmas Carol Barrel (tequila, coffee liqueur, dry curaçao, spiced chocolate). Cocktails are priced between $6 and $15 and are served in kitschy glassware. A few rounds of these, and you’re sure to have visions of sugar-plum fairies dancing in your head, too.

Melissa Hom

The ‘Fruitcake Flip’ mixes sweet amaretto, fruitcake, and cherry bitters with brandy, rum, and a whole egg for good measure.

There are a few changes to Miracle’s usual format, with COVID-19 in mind. All cocktails will be available in a to-go format, while dine-in reservations are restricted to one hour and parties of six or fewer. Wednesday nights, however, offer a quick in-and-out experience; if guests are uncomfortable dining in, they can reserve a 15-minute time slot to take photos alongside the Christmas decorations and pick up their orders (with a minimum spend of $40). Holiday themed Cocktail Kingdom custom glassware will also be available for purchase, with a chunk of proceeds heading towards the James Beard Foundation’s Open for Good campaign, which helps independent bars and restaurants affected by the pandemic.

The Liquor Store is also adding expanded hours through dinner service Wednesday-Saturday nights, to give diners more of a chance to check out the restaurant’s holiday makeover.

Miracle at The Liquor Store (2655 Broad Ave.) runs from November 27th-January 2nd.